9. Our bacon is tastier
Known in Canada as peameal bacon, Canadian bacon is way better than those wrinkled, sodium-drenched American-style strips. It’s leaner, often sweetened with maple, and not as saltily overpowering in a sandwich. Have yourself a Canadian BLT, and you’ll know what we’re talking about.
10. There’s universal health care
You know all those hoops you have to jump through to not only get American health insurance, but to also use it? What about if you don’t have insurance and it costs you like 14 grand to get a cast on your arm? Yeah, we don’t have to worry about all that noise, because we’ve got universal health care.
11. One word: poutine
Our quasi-national dish has taken the world by storm, and why not? It’s fries smothered in delicious cheese curds and gravy! America’s fries usually have nothing on ’em or, if you’re “lucky”, some gross processed nacho cheese. It’s a no-brainer that Poutine (pronounced Poo-tin, ya goofs) comes out on top.
12. Universally sweetened iced tea
Between the south’s sweet tea and the north’s stoic rejection of said sweetness, the U.S. is pretty divided on iced tea etiquette. Canada, on the other hand, remains united for #TeamSweetened, because taking a parched slug of a freshly poured unsweetened iced tea is… just awful.
13. Ketchup is better here
Not only is our slightly-sweeter brand of Heinz way more delicious than its American counterpart (probably because we use real sugar in ours), we’ve also got Ketchup potato chips. Bonus: true Canadians know ketchup is also the best Mac ‘n Cheese topping.
14. We own the winter
Sure it gets cold, but we Canadians continue our regular lives even through the worst winter storms — without that whole “oh no, it’s snowing; time to hole up for six weeks” so common in the States. That’s part of the reason we dominate most winter sports (more Winter Olympic medals than any country in ice hockey, freestyle skiing, and curling!).
15. Canada is freaking beautiful and ginormous
With a larger land mass than the U.S., a fraction of its people, and 79 million hectares of protected wilderness (Banff? Jasper? Those places are spec-freakin’-tacular), Canada is mad attractive from coast to coast.
16. We use the Metric System
In Canada, life is way easier because most day-to-day math equations can be solved by understanding the power of 10. Oh, you need a ridiculously complicated conversion chart to bake a cake, America? That’s too bad.
17. We have better sports trophies